In Your Face…book

Last night I got the shock of my life. (Okay, make that the second shock of my life…)

I was checking The Facebook before bed (as you do) only to find a friend request from a random Asian chiquita from Hong Kong. The first thought was SPAM! You know what I'm talking about:

"Me have a million dollars, you inherit. Give me email address. Love you long time."
(It's not considered racist if that's your race… I'm pretty sure..?)

I stared at that face in that little profile box. My heart leapt into my throat.

Me:"Who is this random called, Ping Pong*?"

Hubband (taking a look): You know, Sama

Me: No…

Hubband: Come on, Sama. Come. On…[smirks]

I knew. It was my half-sister, Penelope*. But I guess I wanted to be sure? It's hard to pinpoint the exact feeling when I looked at that tiny profile picture of the Asian girl pulling a complete 'Sama' face. The possibility that someone else could have the exact same weird facials as me!? Absurd. (Well, actually I guess that's the norm for all bio whanau's. Haha!)

I have never had anyone who resembles me before.

To say I have done all the scenarios in my head is an understatement. I imagined finding out my B-Ma (birth mother) is dead, or is a drug addict, or maybe a princess! or God forbid, a horrible person; and more realistically, has gone on to have a family after having me.
  I imagined if I had siblings would they have my black kinky-winky, curlyish hair? Or my wee button nose, that I swat anyone's hand who tries to touch it; or maybe my awesome sense of humour or quirky fashion sense? (And of course, my deep humility… jokes) But when confronted with The Reality was daunting to say the least…

The next moment of shock came when Ping Pong PM'ed me. Asking if I was available to talk.

I said, yes.

Over the next half hour or so we exchanged broken English messages. Some on her side, some on mine (- which sucks coz English is the only language I know. Haha!) We delved into some of the deep issues and some of the light. (I cracked up when she asked me if my daughter was naughty like her two kids!)

I also got to see a couple of pictures of my B-Ma (past and present) for the first time in my entire life.

At first I didn't think she looked like me at all. But upon further inspection in the light of a new day I realised, holy cowbells! This is MY Birth Mother… My. Birth. Mother. My connection. My DNA.
The puzzle pieces were well and truly smashed together and I couldn't deny that I got a chunk of my looks from her. It's very surreal to be looking into a (sort of) future mirror. Very surreal...

  There were a few moments during the chat session where I admitted I was overwhelmed and didn't know what to say. (Seriously, what do you say to your newly found half-sister and your B-Ma you haven't met after 30 years?!) I'm not sure if Ping Pong understood that or whether she chose to ignore it and railroad ahead with the Q+A anyway? It was disconcerting and disjointed, and really flippen late at night, so I said my goodnights and went off to mull over the sitch.

  Every time I think about it it's like looking through a foggy window. Each new piece of information spins me out and I go into a glazed trance. It's not real. It's an excellent story to tell to others but it didn't happen to me. This blog is, unfortunately and thankfully, proof that it's not just a dream.



*names changed to respect their privacy.